Feeling lonely

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast your all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Do you ever just feel completely alone? Like nobody understands you or cares & even if they did they're nowhere to be found? 

I've been married for almost 4 years now & for the majority of our marriage J & I have lived abroad or hours away from home. As I sit here writing this he is at work & my next closest loved ones live a Country away... I've gotten used to travelling & living away from my family & friends but I still miss them like crazy.

I'm incredibly happy in my marriage & live a blessed life but I can't help but feel a sense of loneliness from time to time. Not just the feeling of "Oh I wish I could have a Mum hug right now" before remembering she lives too far to just pop over for a cuddle, but a deep yearning in my heart. A feeling deep down of loneliness. 

Last year J & I lived in Toronto, Canada. It was an incredible experience & one that I will never forget. J was away for weeks at a time with football so I had a lot of time to myself. I remember that same feeling that pops up on me now, striking then.. Loneliness. I put it down to being away from my loved ones & the fact that my best friend (my hubby) was away. A year on & now living in Belgium I've finally identified what that lonely feeling is & why I can't cure it by simply being in someones company. 

A couple of months ago J & I went back to our hometown London, we were back in the busyness of life, catching up with friends, meeting new additions to the family just generally catching up on all we miss out on living abroad. Have you ever been in a super crowded place, people waffling away behind you, in front of you, noise everywhere? Well this was exactly the situation I was in- my life went from pretty calm to super fast; holidays, church gatherings, people, parties, dinners ect.. I was completely surrounded by all my favourite people yet that same loneliness crept up on my lil heart again...

I took it to God. I guess my prayer must have gone something like "Lord why am I so blessed & happy yet feeling lonely & empty inside?" I waited in frustration & then God showed me the reason this 'lonely void' had been following me around. I needed God. Special time. Alone time with my creator. Time to pour out my heart & time to be filled up. And that's when I realised, the 'lonely void' feeling always crept up on me when I forgot about God.. No matter the Country I was in or whether I was surrounded by my whole big Greek family or sitting completely by myself in the middle of Brussels I could still feel lonely. As I sit here thinking about it it all makes such simple sense, nobody can fill that void in our hearts not even my darling hubby who I love so much.. only God can. I felt a loneliness in my heart because I missed God, my soul longed for him & I was starving myself of Him. When I was spending time with God the lonely feeling went away. Pretty simple huh?

If you're feeling a sense of loneliness I really encourage you to re-evalute your relationship with The Lord, the chances are you aren't as close to Him right now as you need to be. But you know what the truly amazing thing is? God is there, arms wide open to you 24hours a day 7days a week. He's such a gentleman, He doesn't barge His way into your life banging down doors but He waits patiently for you to welcome Him in. He is the only perfect friend the only one who can cure your loneliness & fill that void. Trying to cure the loneliness with our things or pastimes only creates a bigger barrier between you & God. Give it a go, next time you feel lonely put some soft worship music on & catch up with your Heavenly Father, He never disappoints.

Psalm 121:1-2 "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from where comes my help. My help comes from The Lord, who made heaven & earth."

Make God your best friend.

Lots of love

Sia