Women want to be heard, right? And generally we do a pretty good job of it. I don't think a day goes by when I don't tell my hubby the ins & outs of my day, my thoughts, worries & whatever else may be fluttering through my mind.
Men on the other hand are wired totally differently. It's rare that a man will voluntarily tell you his hearts concerns without some form of probing first. Unlike us, men usually keep a lot in before finally, if at all opening up. Is it pride? Fear? I really don't know. But I do know that whatever it is that withholds our men from sharing their hearts, it's our duty to lovingly give them the freedom & safe place to do so, if they want to.
In my marriage I've come to understand that this means actually making a conscious effort to slow down & set time aside to give my husband the opportunity to open up. It's not likely that he will tap me on the shoulder & say "Hey baby, can we have a deep chat tonight, I'm really stressed out & need some advice." That just doesn't happen, thats the way I roll but certainly not how he does. I have to sensitively ask him & give him time to share his heart. Of course, you never want your husband to feel cornered or forced, thats not where we're going with this. Instead we want to make our men feel so loved & supported that they can openly share anything that is burdening them without fear of judgement or rejection. Sometimes this may mean putting our emotions to the side so that we can focus solely on them.
Lets look at this lil example- your hubby opens up & shares with you an ongoing heavy gambling addiction. Do you A.) Fly off the handle, screaming & cussing him for being so irresponsible. Or B.) Express your disappointment calmly but remind him that you will get through this together & seek Godly help. Option A is certainly a much more natural reaction but I reckon that would stop your man from ever sharing a problem with you again, whereas option B will remind him that regardless of his shortcomings, his Godly wife is down for him no matter what.
Sometimes our wifey instincts will let us know if something is burdening our husbands, The Holy Spirit may highlight unusual behaviours or we may just notice them being a little distant. This usually happens when men have a lot on their plates or are dealing with stress. So when we notice these hints lets take the time to really slow down & listen to our loves. If your hubby doesn't want to talk or seems to have nothing to share just keep praying for him. It may take a little more time.
Nobody can understand & love my husband like I can (other than God of course). Nobody can console & bring comfort to your husband like YOU CAN! Why? Because we are their wives, their help mates chosen by God to support them. If we can learn to be sensitive to their needs & sometimes frustrating inability to communicate clearly then we can really help them feel supported.
Have a read of Proverbs 31
All my love,
Sia ♡ x